"What is this place?" Asked Blissful E. Bear.Jerry craned his neck, watching the faces above on the upper floor, and then spinning around to cast his eyes over the rest of those to his left before he whispered, The Room of Abstinence.
Blissful took one look right and saw a a giant man gulping down red wine and spilling most on his cloak. He suddenly understood the need for maroon-coloured robes. He turned his head back the other way and saw a woman straddling a man, her hips in full pelvic thrust, her nakedness covered only by fallen bits of chicken and fruit that had obviously been her dinner at some stage.
"What exactly are they abstaining from?"
"They are abstaining from abstinence of course."
"Of course they are."
"Why do you jest? Would you prefer to be in the room of Edible and Carnal Fun Times?"
Nord shuddered next to Jerry.
"I'm guessing not so many fun times?" Blissful asked wearily.
"May you never have the misfortune of knowing," Jerry had gone remarkably pale. "Keep moving," he spoke his dry whisper.
The three of them made headway through the throng of revelers, there was a man with a long beard flashing onlookers whilst pretending to be a ghost with a series of Whoooooos. Blissful looked up to the mezzanine where a second layer of cloaked faces were dangling from the Victorian plaster work, glasses dropping from hands. Hands clutching flesh. Flesh plump to excess. A very rough bootleg of Venus in Furs started playing from somewhere.
"Where are we going?"
"Stop talking you're attractivating an tension," one of them replied in their trademark babble.
"Quiet, he'll hear you," again, unable to decipher through their thick hoods who was speaking.
"Who will hear me?"
Just then they stopped, a man with strange eyes like those splashed with acid laid his long gold-trimmed cane before them. He was seated at a circular table big enough simply for the fine china tea pot and cups that sat precariously before him.
"Yeah man, it's an incredible price," he spoke into the receiver of his Iphone. His hands were covered in sores, like an Ice-addict, his voice was very thick and baritone.
"It's a semi-hollow bodied Gretch from the 70s but more like a Gibson, you know, like a 335 but with those single coil humbuckers, yeah, yeah," he continued.
"Who is this douche?" Blissful asked.
"Shhhh," Jerry snapped, turning to him with eyes full of fear.
"Yep, AwesomeShredMan43, that's me, just use Paypal that's easier."
The man lifted his head to take in the three figures standing before him, but Blissful couldn't see any indication of sight.
"Ok, right, it sings like a.... one of those you know, majestic birds of song....but only more like a Les Paul, Ok, and two rocks, I'll get them to you mid-week. I'm out."
The figure slowly lowered his phone to a pocket inside his coat. Blissful only then noticed that the man was the only one in the room not conforming to the dress code. He sat with his legs widely spread, wearing a Nike sweat and a pair of Adidas World Cup Gazelles in red, white and blue.
"You haven't paid me yet, Jerry," the man slurred in his thick drawl.
"I know Lord, I'm sorry."
Lord? This smackie is their lord? "What is this place?!" Blissful then realised that he had verbalised the last part of his thoughts, Shit.
"Who do we have here? I haven't seen a bear in years," the man asked.
"I'm..." Blissful always hated introducing himself, it was like his father had listened to A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash one too many times, "Blissful," he offered with a sigh.
"Blissful?" the man chuckled. "Blissful?!" the man repeated, and then broke into a fit of laughter. Suddenly Nord and Jerry began laughing along nervously, Jerry's eyes were still etched with fear. The room seemed to become enveloped by the raucous outburst of this Ebay-peddling Ice dealer and one by one like dominoes people starting doubling over in hysterics. Blissful surveyed the lunacy before him, faces growing red, all staring in his direction, all except one. She looked like she was probably meant to be standing out the front of Lord of the Fries wearing all black. But it was her sadness in the midst of the chaos of laughter that caught his eye. Then she looked up and brought her eyes straight upon Blissful. Her sorrow subsided for a moment as she too came to stare at the bear whose name had caused so much uproar. But she didn't laugh. She merely wiped her eyes and smiled reassuringly.
"Blissful!" the man was still losing himself, "I love it!" The man was swaying back and forth on his chair trying to tame his belly rolling laugh. Blissful looked back for the girl but she was gone, he couldn't see her anywhere. Meanwhile the legs of the man's chair were lifting vulnerably close to tipping. Something in his mind took over. Blissful walked past Nord, past Jerry up to the man's teary damaged eyes and gently inched the base of the left leg back with his toe and watched as the Lord was sent sprawling to the ground.
JH
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